Astrology 11th-17th: A Box of "Chocolates"

Disclaimer: If you do not take every word of these horoscopes with the utmost faith, you will die. Statistics bear this out. Simply scan the newspapers. You will find that an overwhelming majority of the people that die each week DID NOT read the Baron's horoscopes.

Vol. 122: A Box of "Chocolates"

This week sits between last week's interesting solar eclipse and the multiple celestial events surrounding next week's lunar one. Between the clashing rocks of the eclipses and the grinding teeth of planetary gears, we find Valentine's Day.

Horoscopes:

Romantic Forecast '08

Note on Horoscopes: 12 Fold horoscopes are a way to assess the general condition of the splayed rays of the zodiac. Although not without value, they are a blunt tool, and can only describe the archetypal activity in each power-zone. In order to sharpen the accuracy of the horoscopes, read your Sun Sign if you were born in the day-time, and read your Moon Sign if you were born at night. Reading the Sign in which the Ascendant is placed is also advised.

Technical Notes for Astrology Nerds: The following are based primarily on an examination of the 5^th and 7^th Solar Houses.

Aries: The Ram

Ah, Aries. You may find that this year your idea of a good time has a sprung a leak. The South Node's slow back and forth through Leo this year (and next) will act like a slow eraser, smudging and then removing old ideas about love. Its like burning down a patch of grass in order to plant roses. Lovely idea, but it might look like scorched earth for a while.

Taurus: The Bull

Taurus, you'll likely find your concept of romance discovering detailed requirements you didn't know existed. Saturn's influence may also push you towards a dogmatic adherence to these structures. These may very well make your objects of affection feel caged, or keep them away all together. There's a difference between standards and processing plants.

Gemini: The Twins

With Mars' recent station in Gemini, you're likely still on the brink of major change in what you want out of relationships, as well as how you play the role of man, woman, or whatever you happen to be. Pluto's movement out of Sagittarius will seem to lift a great burden from your life. That particular burden is an attraction to psychopaths. However, Pluto dips back into Sagittarius to disrupt your partnerships for another 6 months in early June. After that, your love life should see a significant reduction in the number of psychopaths present.

Cancer: The Crab

Cancer, your love life is the most likely to get complicated this year. Mars movement through your sign during the Fall and its subsequent return the same territory throughout March and April will see you making some serious changes to the way that you approach sex, as well as your own gender role. Pluto's ingress into Capricorn marks the beginning of an era marked by a powerful increase in intensity. You'll get a taste of this until Pluto returns to Sagittarius until November, when Pluto comes into Capricorn to make his residence for well over a decade.

Leo: The Lion

Leo benefits from the movement of Pluto out of the Sagittarius and into Capricorn. This particular configuration takes the soul-felching intensity out of your love affairs. Look to see the beginnings of this type of change in the next few months, with a reversion back to soul-felching in early June when Pluto slips back into Sagittarius. Pluto's triumphant return to Capricorn in November '08 will mark the end of this old era.Neptune's presence in Aquarius throughout 2008 will continue the current pattern of idealized partnership.

Virgo: The Virgin

Dearest Virgo, Uranus' presence in Pisces during this year predisposes you to attract the genius, the eccentric, the exception and the mentally unstable. If you want to keep any of the weirdos you seem to be attracting, make sure to take it easy with Saturn in Virgo shears. They're just not going to fit in your box (pun intended.) Pluto's ingress into Capricorn is the beginning of a long term period of intense change within you concept and practice of love. Its slow to start, and won't be at full strength until nearly November.

Libra: The Scales

Libra, the skies will are relatively clear of interference this year. Problems with partnerships encountered in early 2008 should smooth out as Winter turns to Spring in the Northern hemisphere. Neptune's continuing presence in Aquarius will continue to over-idealized notions of love for the coming year and a few to follow, but this influence is nothing new, nor is it any great cause for concern.

Scorpio: The Scorpion

Scorpio, this year does not differ terribly from the last. Uranus, still in Pisces, suggests that your experimental attitude towards love won't disappear any time soon. Sudden connections alternating with periods of isolated independence should continue to characterize your love life. As the year grows older, however, the growing opposition between Saturn and Uranus may see you engaged in issues about how to structure intense but chaotic affairs.

Sagittarius: The Archer

Mars has tattooed a pattern of conflict into your relationships with his recent station. This particular stencil is likely in the midst of being factored into your attitude towards love in general. It will likely make for a rocky winter but things should get sorted one way or another by mid Spring. Its also important to note that although Pluto has left your Sign as of now, it will return for a brief stay in early June until November. This final audience with the dark king will have you dealing with the control and trust issues likely interfering with sweet things right now.


Capricorn: The Goat

Mars' movement through Cancer this Fall likely ignited conflicts within your relationships. His movement back through Cancer this March and April will see you revisiting and possibly mending wounds incurred this Fall. Even though Mars will clear Cancer in May, his retrograde has left an imprint in the relationship sector of your life. Understated conflicts about personal space may be a theme you'll need to work through this year. Although these themes may be present, Jupiter will have your back for the entire year, and your presence is likely to be seen in grander terms than at other times. Grand isn't ideal for those who favor the more subtle approach, but its better than pathetic, right?

Aquarius: The Water-Bearer

Aquarius, this may not be your finest year for love. Mars has stenciled a set of conflicts into the good-times part of your life, and the Node's dark pull has begun to draw energy away from your relationships in order to inflate you. This is not a death sentence, but it does put relationships in the karmic cross-hairs for the rest of the year. There are wrinkly issues to be ironed out.

Pisces: The Fish

Ah, Pisces. This year holds special challenges to your love life. Partnerships are likely to hold a serious element that you cannot ignore. Boundaries must be set and agreements made. This at a time when you're seeing an extremely independent side of yourself. Yes, the rules of the relationship and your sense of individuality will certainly find themselves in serious discussion this year, especially later in the year as Saturn and Uranus approach an opposition. In addition, Mars in Cancer presented important challenges to your idea of good times this Fall. Those, issues, most likely concerning personal space and dependence, will be revisited during March and April before being left behind.


Services: If you'd like a personal consultation with the man behind the mask, message the Baron's mortal vehicle at Xroadsconsultations@gmail.com. The Baron is also available for birthdays, weddings, funerals and orgies.

COPYRIGHT ABYSSAL EPISTLES 2008
Sol in Aquarius, Luna in Aries

The Year of the Rat

The Year of the Rat

Having seen civilizations great and small rise majestically and then inevitably fall, the Baron is inherently multi-cultural. On that note, Chinese New Year is coming up. It is celebrated just after the second New Moon of the year following the Winter Solstice. This year it's on Thursday the 8th, and you can bet the Baron will be knee-deep in dim sum before the sun goes down.

Being unable to stand the masses' pitiful ignorance, the following is a brief offering on the nature of a holidate that well over a billion people celebrate.

Comparative Pop-Astrology

Although most people in English speaking countries are aware of their Sun-sign ("I'm a Taurus and I'm lazy!"), Western Astrology does not have a popular, accessible method of assessing the basic nature of a year. Though popular methods are limited to sometimes-tragic oversimplifications (Not EVERY Aries is an offensively spunky go-getter, just the ones you know), these simpler methods are not without value. In addition to their own validity, they may provide gateways to more in-depth astrological calculations.

Chinese Astrology also has a 12-part zodiac. Unlike Western Astrology, the Zodiac in Chinese astrology is most popularly applied to a 12-year cycle, rather than one of 12 months. The Sign in the Chinese Zodiac describes both the people born in that year as well as the quality of the year itself.

The Year Star

Though this information is often mysterious absent, the application of Chinese Zodiac to a 12-year cycle is not arbitrary. It is, in fact, based on the approximate position of Jupiter, which has a nearly perfect 12-year cycle.

Because of the numerous parallels between the Sun and Jupiter, it's interesting that each is used in a system of popular astrology to describe the simplified essence of a time period. Both represent the celestial bodies the 12-fold zodiac cycle fits best, the Sun having a 12-month cycle, and Jupiter having 12 year one. Or, to put it another way, a 12 Sun cycle.

The Sign of the Sun in Western Astrology indicates the quality of the individual self, manifest in life, works, and love. It reveals qualities of ego, identity, and higher spiritual purpose. It is the heart, the center around which the rest of the chart hangs.

The meaning of Jupiter is similar to that of the Sun, but, like its cycle in time, it occurs on a larger scale. Jupiter, the largest of the planets and the first one past the asteroid's scattered fencing, serves to connect what is special about the individual (the Sun) with the social collective they are born into. Jupiter is about finding the place where an individual's talents are nurtured, and, in turn, nurture the society which mothers them. It aims at cohesion between the micro- and macrocosm, the self and world, and is represented in Chinese thought as being of the Wood element. Its energy is that of organic growth and expansion.

It is because Jupiter maintains its position for nearly 1 year that Chinese pop-astrology can say that people born within the same year share certain characteristics.

A system of pop-astrology must be simplified enough for the layman or woman to grasp its dynamics. The point the system is simplified down is interesting in and of itself, as it reveals some of the culture's general orientation. The individualistic West simplifies Astrology down to the Sun- the seat of identity in a chart- while more collectively minded China reduces their astrology down to Jupiter, a planet whose concerns are more collective, and which sweeps a year's crop into the same bin. Its also interesting to note that in India, pop-astrology is concerned primarily with one's Moon Sign, and which of the 27 Lunar Mansions, or Nakshatras, it resides within. The Baron's a Rohini. Now you know.

Time: Planetary Cycles vs. Ideal Divisions

And so the Years of the Chinese Zodiac use Jupiter's cycle in order to anchor them. Jupiter will be in the Chinese Sign of the Rat for most of 2008, but there are years where Jupiter is not technically in the Sign of the Year when that Year begins, and may slip out of it during that year.

This is because Chinese Astrology utilizes an idealized notion of time drawn from and confirmed by celestial cycles, but not entirely dependent on it. A similar type of idealized time structure can be found in Western Astrology in the use of the Planetary Days. In use since ancient times, each day of the week is assigned a planet whose energy is said to pervade it. This is not based on any observable connection between the planets and the days of the week, but has none the less stuck around for thousands of years and presumably vindicated itself in practice. In fact, the names of days of the week in English directly reference Gods and Goddess whose quality reflects the character of the planet that they are attributed to.

Archetypal Arithmetic

Now, in addition to the 12 Year cycle, each of the 12 years is thought to manifest in the mode of one of the Chinese elements, or phases of energy- The Wu-Xing. They are Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water. Similar to the Greek concepts of the 4 elements, the 5 elements are often used in Indian, Tibetan, Chinese, Thai, and Japanese thought. Each Elemental mode persists for 2 years, manifesting sequentially in a Yang and then Yin phase.

These pairings are expressed by using a color to represent the element, and an Animal. The pairing of a cycle of 5 and a cycle of 12 makes for a total cycle of 60 years, considered very important in Chinese Astrology. A 60-year cycle is interesting, because it roughly equivalent to the time it takes for Jupiter and Saturn to come back around into the same relative positions.

The Yellow Rat

The Chinese year inaugurated on the 8^th is the year of the Earth Rat, also called the "Yellow Rat". This configuration is also referred to as the "Rat on a Crossbeam."

Taken as an image, an idea, the year of the "Earth Rat" is quite interesting in light of the various planetary positions that will be present through-out the year.

Earth Rat, Earth Star

"Earth Rat"- the cunning, bravery and caution of the Rat directed towards earthly or material affairs. If we are the Rats, then Saturn in Virgo must be our maze. Saturn is known in Chinese astrology as the "Earth Star," and it is a role that Western astrologers are quite familiar with. More than any other Planet, Saturn describes the structures that we scamper within. In the Tarot, Saturn is given XXI The World, the backdrop against which the Fool's adventure's find meaning.

"...I'm Still Just A Rat In A Maze"

In Virgo since September, Saturn has enacted a somewhat brutal change of scenery. The transition from star-powered and overhyped Leo to down-to-earth (and below) Virgo has shattered a number of egos (and markets), and will shatter more before its down. Saturn in Leo recognizes that all world's a stage, and is determined to put on a good show. But with Saturn in Virgo, the scene is a different one. The sets that Saturn in Virgo erects are the type of drama that occurs in the doctors office, college classes, or in the form of a termination letter from your boss. Saturn in Virgo sets us up to analyze our oppurtunities and potential pitfalls in detail, and is willing to marshall misfortune in order to point out cracks in these critiques.

In order to get through this particular maze, we'll need to be cunning, brave, and cautious. An attention to detail in general, with a specific focus on habits as they pertain to health, finances and information is key. Brute strength of person or persona is not the way here. You'll just tire your self out trying to take down the walls, or your opponents. Maintain yourself, find the cheese, and find the exit.
One only has to take a brief look at the state of the United States' pre-presidential races to see the would-be candidates scampering after electoral votes like mice after Cheez-Its. Indeed, with the state of the economy, the candidates won't be the only ones scampering after little valuable bits this year, as we all fight to bring home enough cheese to feed the ratlings and pay our car and health insurance.

Once You Go Cross-Cultural...

The Rat also holds an important place in the Indian pantheon. Chubby and lovable Ganesh, the elephant-headed little Babar of the subcontinent, has as his mighty steed is a rat. Ganesh is often petitioned to remove obstacles, or provide a way around them, as his humble steed, the Rat can negotiate confusing and difficult situations that mightier but simpler animals, like a horse, could never manuever through. So as you work your way through the maze of the year, pause to consider Ganesh and his unassuming but effective choice of vehicle.

Astrology 4th-10th: Old Sun, New Moon

Disclaimer: If you do not take every word of these horoscopes with the utmost faith, you will die. Statistics bear this out. Simply scan the newspapers. You will find that an overwhelming majority of the people that die each week DID NOT read the Baron's horoscopes.

Vol. 121: Old Sun, New Moon

This week's celestial events center around the New Moon in Aquarius, which occurs late this Wednesday. Although the beginning of every lunar cycle is something to take note of, this week's lunation holds a number of distinctions. First, it is a solar eclipse, although one that will only be seen by residents of Antartica. Second, it is marks the Chinese New Year, a holidate celebrated by billions of people. And third, the New Moon occurs on top of a retrograde Mercury and as well as slow moving Chiron in Aquarius, packing it with extra meaning.

Cold Sky

The Solar Eclipse occurs on Wednesday night over cold fields of the Antarctic. Although viewers may be disappointed to miss out on the spectacle of the dark sun, it may very well be for the best. Astrologers of many cultures have come to a similar conclusion regarding the intrusion of the black sun into the daylight sky- it's no good. Forecasters of all varieties predict that the literal darkness of the sun will be followed by a metaphorical darkness in human affairs in the 6 months that follow it. Such was the case for Chile, over which the Solar Eclipse of September sparkled darkly, and then was subsequently smitten with a series of serious earthquakes a few months later. And so perhaps it is best that the dark sun shines only over cold plains of ice.

The Moon's Two Sons

Like every New Moon, each eclipse is worth noting, but this one holds a special distinction of its own. It marks the movement of the Eclipse cycle out of the Pisces-Virgo axis and into the realms of Leo and Aquarius. Virgos and Pisces can heave a slight sigh of relief while Leos and Aquarians are advised to pause for consideration. The movement of the Moon's North and South Nodes, the Eclipse markers, through the terrain of a Sign brings the forces of karma more directly to bear on the zodiacal terrain they traverse.

This cycle sees the North Node in Aquarius and the South Node in Leo. The Nodes' provide an entry to a vast cavern of meanings whose turning tunnels often obscure their relatively simple action. The North Node favors material matters but tends to diminish consciousness in the area that it invades. The South Node, on the other hand, tends to diminish materialization but boost consciousness. In a simple sense, the North Node enriches while the South Node purifies.

In Leo, the South Node eats away at identity. It signals the beginning of a period where works based upon strength of identity alone will be beset with numerous difficulties. The South Node eats away at the structure of identity, converting it back into the raw stuff of self, from which a thousand expressions may issue. It is a prelude to personal rebirth. As the South Node eats through the structure of our identity, the North Node in Aquarius deposits that freed up energy into social concerns on a much broader scale.

This particular turn of the wheel is of especial concern for those born with the Nodal Axis on the Leo-Aquarius axis. This Nodal Return is for you.

Chinese New Year

The annual celebration of the New Year according to the Chinese calendar, takes just after the 2^nd New Moon following the Northern Hemisphere's Winter Solstice. This Friday inaugurates the Year of the Rat. Specifically, it is the Yellow Rat- the "Rat on a Crossbeam." Look for a special supplement on the mechanics and indications of the Chinese New Year later in the week.

Mercury Retrograde, Chiron, and Associates

This inaugural Solar eclipse is not only distinguished by the factors mentioned above, but is also interesting by virtue of the 4 way conjunction of the Sun, Moon, retrograde Mercury, and creeping Chiron.

Mercury retrograde's conjunction with the Sun is the point at which our inverted thought processes approach the heart of the issue at hand. It is not the point of resolution, but the point at which the issue(s) become clear. This tri yearly event happens directly on top of the Centaur Chiron, a planetoid roaming our solar system in the empty range between the orbits of Saturn and Uranus. Although not one of the planets proper, Chiron, like Pluto, has demonstrable effects on a life. Chiron exposes the tend'rest flesh our minds have to offer, pointing to areas that desperately need greater care.

In Aquarius, it is the inability to belong to a group, and the subsequent feelings of isolation and rejection that we're dealing with. The Sun, Moon, and retrograde Mercury's conjunction atop this sore point indicate the next lunar cycle will deal especially with these wounded areas, with a focus on learning to articulate one's feelings of rejection and exclusion.

Horoscopes: February 4th-10th

Note on Horoscopes: 12 Fold horoscopes are a way to assess the general condition of the splayed rays of the zodiac. Although not without value, they are a blunt tool, and can only describe the archetypal activity in each power-zone. In order to sharpen the accuracy of the horoscopes, read your Sun Sign if you were born in the day-time, and read your Moon Sign if you were born at night. Reading the Sign in which the Ascendant is placed is also advised.

Aries: The Ram

The wheels of the year are grinding out some interesting professional developments for Aries. Lots of work and important networking to do. This extra-special New Moon in Aquarius throws a long term light on your relationships to groups and membership within them. Addressing miscommunications in this area is key to getting your war machine back on track after a season of being sidelined.

Taurus: The Bull

Taurus, this New Moon sets the stage for you to begin some serious rethinking of your professional situation. The Sun and Moon align to shine an invisible light on the unspoken words that have veiled the old wounds you're still hurting from at work. The coming weeks will see this insight for the seed of serious change that it is.

Gemini: The Twins

My friends the Geminis are always the ones who suffer most from the triannual retrograde of Mercury. With the recent Mars station in your Sign, the temptation to act like a crazy asshole is even greater than normal. The New Moon this week will concentrate your easily scattered motes of mind onto a set of deep questions about your direction in life. These questions, though painful, will most likely lead to soothing solutions.

Cancer: The Crab

Cancer, this New Moon shines its non-light onto already invisible areas of your life, illuminating secret matters and your connection to what stirs just beyond the current limits of your perception. The gravity of secrets may draw you into your own subconscious or deep into the affairs of others. Either way, there is a wound to address, a small abyss to stitch together.

Leo: The Lion

Leo, the New Moon this week speaks strongly about your relationships, casting a strong ray into this area of your life. The presence of Chiron indicates a wound in these affairs, a wound covered with silences, unveiled with words. This New Moon and an unseen eclipse kicks off a year and half period where the undertow will pull you away from yourself but closer to right relation to others.

Virgo: The Virgin

Virgo, the New Moon this week speaks directly to your work situation. Always the popular topic with Virgo, Saturn in your Sign emphasizes it, and the New Moon this week speaks small volumes about it. Highlighted is your relationship to what you're doing on a daily and hourly basis, as well as your communications with your coworkers. There's a sore spot somewhere in there that's likely to need treatment in the next few weeks.

Libra: The Scales

The New Moon that occurs this week will likely see you seriously re-considering your lifestyle. The two topics on the scales are pleasure, on one hand, and the need for healing on the other. Premature conclusions in this matter may lead to a desire to make rash changes in your lifestyle. Give it time and let the scales do their work.

Scorpio: The Scorpion

The New Moon this week highlights the shifting ground beneath your feet. You may find yourself floating for a bit, not certain where sure footing is. This question of position may take a few weeks to work itself out. It is entangled with a need for communication with those connected to your platform.

Sagittarius: The Archer

The events of this week's New Moon locate themselves primarily within your local social circle. Lacking communications and/or abundant miscommunications likely conceal a small rift between you and your crew. Carefully navigated discussions and thoughtful observations on the situation are the tools you can use to prevent open hostilities.

Capricorn: The Goat

This week's New Moon will dispense its energies into the area of your psyche concerned with value. Although values do not always translate into valuables, its likely that there's a conversation about account pending. This focus on value and values, whether it involves objects or not, connects to a question of personal worth that you'll ponder on and off in the coming weeks.

Aquarius: The Water Bearer

Aquarius, the planetary pile-up occurring on the New Moon this week happens right in your front yard. It's likely you've left important issues under communicated, leaving you more disconnected to certain situations than you ought. It's time to carefully remove the veils from your message. The eclipse that occurs on this New Moon initiates a new period for you, where your priorities will slowly shift from relationships to a growing focus on yourself. This new period will see you seeing yourself in the mirror rather than through other's eyes.

Pisces: The Fishes

Pisces, this alignment of the New Moon, retrograde Mercury and Chiron in Aquarius does not bode particularly well for you. There are a number of forces impeding easy progress right now. Although the difficulty of the situation will erode before the end of the month, the first few weeks of the coming lunar cycle are likely to hold a few annoying surprises. Keep treading water and you'll find yourself downstream from difficulties in a few weeks.

Services: If you'd like a personal consultation with the man behind the mask, message the Baron's mortal vehicle at Xroadsconsultations@gmail.com. The Baron is also available for birthdays, weddings, funerals and orgies.

COPYRIGHT ABYSSAL EPISTLES 2008
Sol in Aquarius, Luna in Capricorn