ABYSSAL EPISTLES
The Astrology of Baron Samadhi von Coppockalypse
Disclaimer: If you do not take every word of these horoscopes with the utmost faith, you will die. Statistics bear this out. Simply scan the newspapers. You will find that an overwhelming majority of the people that die each week DID NOT read the Baron's horoscopes.
Vol. 138: Atmospheric Pressure
This week sees a slew of planetary action. A Mars-Saturn conjunction, a Mercury-Pluto opposition and a Sun-Jupiter opposition all add themselves to the waxing Moon's witches brew for this week. Not only are we treated to a variety of intense planetary influences, but they all occur back to back, making the middle of the week an interesting time indeed.
Here's a brief breakdown of the conflicting forces afoot this week
Sun opposition Jupiter
The Sun in Cancer casts its eye at Jupiter in Capricorn from across the zodiac. The monthly focus on personal cultivation encounters opportunities just out of reach. A stretch is necessary in order to access these opportunities, but questions exist as to the quality of said opportunities, as well as whether the "stretch" may end up being a "rip."
Mars/Saturn conjunct in Virgo
At the same time, Mars, now in Virgo, marches to meet Saturn in early Virgo. Mars and Saturn are classical astrology's two malefic ("harm-causing") planets, and their biannual conjunctions often mark unpleasant events. Certainly most folks will emerge unscathed, but it does often put an unpleasant power into the air. Physical things, like bodies and computers, like to break or break down under this configuration. On the emotional level, anger born of frustration is a common response.
Mercury opposition Pluto
Also mid-week we see Mercury, about to leave Gemini for the first time in over 2 months, come into opposition with Pluto, which has temporarily retreated back into the arms of the Archer, Sagittarius. Mercury's opposition with Pluto sees secrets come to the surface, along with hidden emotions. It is also likely to bring finality to matters which have been batted back and forth in discussion for months now.
As these missives from the underworld emerge into daylight, they will trigger frustration and blow outs for some folks. For those in a position to moderate the influences of this week, a focused, industrious energy will be the positive result.
The primary conflict of the influences at work this week is between opportunity and frustrating difficulties. For many, the two will be tied together, and the vision of opportunity impossible to grasp without engaging the difficulties.
Frustration is a result of the friction between goals and obstacles. The steam that pours out your ears can also power a locomotive.*
*The Baron promises not to wax "motivational" more than once per month.
Horoscopes: July 7th-13th
Note on Horoscopes: 12 Fold horoscopes are a way to assess the general condition of the splayed rays of the zodiac. Although not without value, they are a blunt tool, and can only describe the archetypal activity in each power-zone. In order to sharpen the accuracy of the horoscopes, read your Sun Sign if you were born in the day-time, and read your Moon Sign if you were born at night. Reading the Sign in which the Ascendant is placed is also advised.
Aries: Or Others
Professional opportunities loom high above the foundations you've been doing patch up work on. However, the Mars-Saturn conjunction marks what may be a rather difficult work week. Don't hurt yourself. Or others. Your focus on personal power may be best served during the next few weeks by rerouting your attention from yourself to the tools you're working with.
Taurus: Have Fun Later
The Mars-Saturn conjunction this week cramps attempts at good times until the weekend. Meanwhile, extend financial considerations come to an important point and an opportunity for travel or personal expansion is highlighted.
Gemini: Bad News First
Communications with significant others which have meandered around clarity come to a head this week, leaving few illusions about the state of affairs. The Mars-Saturn conjunction provides little comfort, although the Sun spotlights what may be a financial opportunity.
Cancer: The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Birthday Cancers will receive a certificate for one (1) free weekly horoscope. Non-birthday Cancers receive the same. Read below to claim gift.
Distracting difficulties plague your mind as it emerges from an extended season stuck on personal conundrums. Take what pleasure you can in those who surround you. You may shine a fine light onto partners and close friends of quality.
Leo: Key Points
Mars' conjunction with Saturn in Virgo may mark a difficult week for you financially. Meanwhile, extended communications with peers and within groups to which you belong reach a key point. Benefits come through being willing to reassess your practices.
Virgo: Grindstone
Mars conjoins Saturn in your sign this week, turning the average Virgo workaholic into a high-powered super-slave. Or basket case. Go ahead and put your nose to the grindstone. It will grow back. And if not, there are likely reputable plastic surgeons in your area. As an added note, don't freak out and kill anyone, no matter how much of a "stress-relief" it sounds like.
Libra: Better Them Than You
Light shines from the professional area of your life onto opportunities in your living room. Or someone's living room. Of the 12 signs, you are likely least effected by the potential difficulties of this week, while the beneficial side of whats what is likely to hit your from the right angle.
Scorpio: Keep It To Yourself
Intense communications surround the middle of the week as Mercury moves into opposition with Pluto. The Mars-Saturn conjunction may add social and technical difficulties to the mix, but don't freak out, as there are likely opportunities afoot you'd rather not ruin.
Sagittarius: This Conversation Is Over
A long season of uncertain communications comes to an end this week with you putting the nail in the coffin of certain conversations. Meanwhile, monetary opportunities come more clearly into view, but the landscape of your professional sector is a harsher than usual this week. A lighter mood next week follows as Venus moves into Leo. Yes, a life-changing month of retarded fun is right around the corner.
Capricorn: Goaty
Of the twelve zodiacal tribes, Capricorn, you are the most likely to benefit from this week's opposition between Jupiter and the Sun. The Sun shines on opportunities. Don't let the details keep you from taking advantage of the situation. Figure out how to make it happen.
Aquarius: Finger of Yod
Like the finger of an accusing god, the planets are solidly aligned to point out what's wrong with the way you've been doing things. You can take the hints and follow the clues now, or you can wait until next month's eclipses to have their way with your wayward destiny. Like it or not, your personal evolution is once more of interest to the cosmos and the chaos behind it. Consider the karmic ledger more carefully than usual.
Pisces: Escape from Martyrdom
This week's opposition of Mercury and Pluto attempts to force completion upon uncertainties surrounding your living situation. Personal conflicts have a particularly disastrous energy hovering about them this week, and are likely get blown of out proportion. This is a good week to continue to shut up take it like a Pisces. There are better times to plan your escape from martyrdom.
Consultation Services: If you'd like a personal consultation with the man behind the mask, message the Baron's mortal vehicle at Xroadsconsultations@gmail.com for details. The Baron is also available for birthdays, weddings, funerals and orgies.
Free Monthly Zine: Download it at http://innerorder.org/NSSCancer2008.pdf or send an email to Nightskystrategies@gmail.com in order to subscribe!
COPYRIGHT ABYSSAL EPISTLES 2008Sol in Cancer, Luna in Libra
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